


What Happened to Us

by AskHisDisciple (PisceanQueen)



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Blood, Gen, Multi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-02-06
Updated: 2013-02-06
Packaged: 2017-11-28 09:04:45
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,879
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/672655
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PisceanQueen/pseuds/AskHisDisciple
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>This is the last entry in the last journal of the Disciple, written shortly before her death. (With images)</p>
            </blockquote>





	What Happened to Us

Today is the day I finally record our last day together. For sweeps I have avoided the topic, but never has my memory dulled regarding this event. At my age I think I can finally relate this sorrowful day without losing my composure. I've spent far too many sweeps grasped by sadness.

They lead us in chains, linked together at the necks. The Signless, the Dolorosa, The Psiionic, and I, the Disciple. The Empress's Highblooded subjects were cackling at us and throwing stones as we passed, shouting lewd things, cursing our blood.

I tried my best not to cry out when they hit, but I felt the blood trickle down my face. I kept my eyes downcast until I saw the Signless collapse. I rushed forward to try and help Him up but a Subjuggulator backhanded me and I fell amidst their roaring laughter. The Psiionic knelt beside me, just extending his hand to help me rise. I couldn't look directly at him. I didn't want him to see my tears. He had told me to be strong but my heart was far too weak. Looking back now, I'm sure he knew how afraid I was.

We'd been captured after an [attempt to escape](http://askhisdisciple.tumblr.com/post/33103766991/this-took-nearly-a-month-to-do-but-im-happy), following an exhaustive search orchestrated by the Grand Highblood on orders from Her Imperious Condescension. The Psiionic and The Dolorosa tried their best to hold off a force of Highbloods to give my Beloved and I time to flee... but it wasn't long before they were overtaken. There were simply too many. One of the Highbloods had climbed atop his flying lusus and led the mob to us, spotting us as we ran through the woods. I held onto The Signless with all my strength, but they were far stronger, and they tore me away. I would never hold Him again.

We finally reached a clearing where they planned on announcing our punishments for the offense of treason. They took The Psiionic and the frantic Dolorosa to the side, chaining them further. Their castes were useful and they would make excellent slaves. Then they forced us all to watch the murder of my Beloved, and it was clear my fate would be to follow Him in death. The Highbloods cheered and laughed in excitement, eager to see my reaction at the death of my matesprit. The Condesce herself was there, chuckling. Her voice was so cold. She ran her hand hand through my hair, her claws scraping my scalp, telling me to enjoy the show and be patient for my turn.

They took my Beloved and chained Him up by the wrists. The Highbloods, and even a few Lowbloods, took turns exacting their cruelty upon Him while I cried out for them to give Him mercy. But my Beloved did not waver, He did not beg for His life. [He kept shouting our beliefs](http://alyssaphire.tumblr.com/post/14764852235/the-sufferers-final-sermon); how the caste system was wrong. How the hemospectrum was wrong. How we were all equals if we'd just open our eyes to see it. It was a message of love, but His voice... It grew darker the more they beat Him.

There was an anger in the Sufferer I had never witnessed before. His words no longer were gentle. His growled speech grew florid and a tone crept into his voice that I had never heard before. He vowed there would be another Signless. That this Second Signless would bring ruin to Alternia but eventually guide our race to glory in another realm, free of the hatred of the hemospectrum and the abuse of the Highbloods. In response, the E%ecutioner Darkleer let fly his arrow and my Beloved's last Word, the Vast Expletive, rung out clear through the night as he died, his message ascending into the stars. At that moment, my world shattered into nothing.

They dragged The Psiionic and the Dolorosa away, the Condesce following closely with her entourage, then Darkleer notched another arrow amidst the cheers of his bloodthirsty men. I was sobbing, crumpled on the ground and trembling, clinging to the Leggings of my Beloved. It was all I had left of Him. They burnt the corpse of the Sufferer to ash and bone; the molten iron shackles that once bound Him slowly turned a cold gray.

But as the E%ecutioner turned his gaze to me, bow drawn, he found he could not go through with it. [I don’t know why.](http://askhisdisciple.tumblr.com/post/32624580952/pity) I’ll never know why. He roared at me in his frightening voice to run and I did not question his decision. The Sufferer had died… but maybe I could save the The Dolorosa and The Psiionic if I tried. I _had_ to try. He would want me to try.

I ran through the woods as fast as my feet would take me, taking to the trees in places to avoid the rough terrain. I didn’t know how much time had passed since The Psiionic or The Dolorosa were both led away, but at that moment I was the Huntress once more; before I knew anyone; when it was just me and my lusus running through the woods. I would track my friends to the ends of the world.

I found them both in another clearing under a rocky cliff near a slave transport. I was surprised to see Her Imperious Condescension still there. She was admiring The Psiionic, his chin in her hand, whispering in his ear. I could tell he was furious with the attention. The Dolorosa struggled bravely against those who held her, glowing brightly in her anger. The Psiionic kept from using his powers because they had threatened to kill her as well. I wish I could have run to her myself. The Dolorosa used to embrace me when I was troubled, making everything right again. But I couldn't do the same for her...

Leaving my cover in the brush I ran around the clearing to the cliff above, leaning over carefully, so as not to be seen. In my state of mind I was thinking of an elaborate ambush. I could leap down and kill the Empress with my claws, then face off against the mob of Highbloods. It was foolish to think I could do this. There were at least fifty, most with weapons and rifles... my death would be quick and pointless. I talked myself down. I knew deep down there wasn’t anything I could do against so many. My Beloved once told me, long before we were captured, that if He were somehow killed, I was to keep His Word alive. A rash action like this would jeopardize that promise. What could I do? What could I possibly do?

In my despair I clasped my hands together tight, squinting my eyes. I tried to send a message to The Psiionic with my mind, even though I knew he wasn’t a telepath. But I called out with my heart anyway. I begged him to forgive me for all the trouble I caused him. For all of them. All the times I had gotten in the way; for being too cheerful; for taking away time from him and The Sufferer; for everything I did wrong.

I should have done better. I should have tried harder. I was so sorry for everything. I truly did love them all so much, but there wasn’t anything I could do anymore. I was strong, but I knew I could not take on so many...

In my silent message I had cried and I hadn’t realized it. My head was still over the edge and I wiped my eyes with a fist, looking down below, my heart pounding in my chest, hoping that no one had noticed... The Condesce and The Psiionic, along with the Dolorosa, were looking up for something —for me— and in my panic I fled into the night. I headed to the caves where I knew none would dare follow. It was the last time I ever saw my dearest friends.

My heart was broken into three pieces that day.

I don’t know if he heard me, but I pray he did. I don’t know where life has taken either of them since that terrible day. But I do take sad solace in the fact that The Psiionic has most likely passed away by now, as his lifespan was shorter than mine, and I am far older now. I hope he is finally free forever from his life of slavery and that I may see him again soon when I visit what lies beyond. Oh, my dear friend, please be at rest, I beg!

I think The Dolorosa is still in the brooding caverns most likely, tending to grubs while in chains, still mourning the loss of her child. I miss her terribly. I pray to whomever will listen that she is safe. She cared so much for all of us. As though we were her children and she our lusus. She was so selfless and gentle to all she met, especially the wigglers. A heart as kind and full of grace as hers hopefully still tends to those young grubs who need her as much as my Beloved did. Mother Dolorosa, please forgive me...

I hide now. I’ve hidden for sweeps. There are a few who have sought me out, and fewer that I trust to know my location, but I have done my Beloved’s work and told them all of our tales. There have been many who still speak of His teachings, even Highbloods have paid me a visit,- to my surprise, and though I am hesitant to let them see my work, I have noted that there is still some small shred of hope left in everyone. I have painted these walls in ash, chalk and blood, in all the colors of the spectrum, save one… and I have recorded our journey together, however short it was, and our messages of peace and unity. Our tale is not entirely a happy one. The true ending is still so unclear to me… but I cannot dwell on it too much. I have so much more work to do. The others, no matter what has happened to them, would agree that this is the true greater purpose. Alternia will one day be free if His teachings are kept alive.

Even still… I miss them all so much. It is hard to write of them without succumbing to tears. Many times I have felt as if I could not go on. But I made a promise to my Beloved, so until my time comes and I am free of this old body, I will keep His word sacred, so that others may learn of our message.

This is my last entry in this weathered journal. My eyes have become weak and I no longer see as well as I once did, especially in the dark of this cave. Whomever reads this journal, please, keep it safe, learn what I have written on the preceding pages, and try to live as my Beloved preached. Be kind to those who are less fortunate than you. Look past blood color, beyond caste, and into the soul. It is there you will find kindness within. There is that potential in all of us.

**Author's Note:**

> If you got down here thank you so much for reading my fic! ♥
> 
> This fanfic was pretty much ripped directly from my [tumblr](http://askhisdisciple.tumblr.com). All the images were drawn my me, including the "Muse - Resistance" song art I linked to. I'm sorry my art isn't the best. Or if the story isn't the best either. I'm quite nervous about this! This was the first time I ever really wrote fanfic for Homestuck, I don't usually _do fanfic_ , so forgive my mistakes if I made any. I just have _so many Ancestor f33ls_ , you know??
> 
> Very special thanks to [Alyssaphire](http://alyssaphire.tumblr.com) for letting me link to her lovely imagepost of the Sufferer's final sermon. Go follow her. Her art is _breathtaking!_
> 
> Also... did you see The Handmaid? :33


End file.
